Well, I thought I would try messing with this but it just doesn't work to have a journal, facebook, xanga and a life!!

So, I will close down this site and just stick to my Facebook...which happenes to be way cooler anyhoo!!!

Love to all and I'll see you on Facebook!

Ann

Wow! My last blog was in February and here it is...the MIDDLE of August!!!

We have been doing well and had a great summer. We have had a number of projects and some we are still working on but that is just part of life. My problem is that I get soo excited about the progress we make on one project so I think that we can start another and work on them all at once. Or I think about all these new ideas and I get so pumped about them that I want to start on that RIGHT AWAY!! Doesn't work so well! 

We need to finish "construction" on our Theater downstairs and I need to finish landscaping. I planted some last week and we had a lot of wind and two of them got too windblown and broke.    I need to transplant them but I just haven't had the chance yet!

This week is busy...something every night! Monday is Richard's birthday...25! I swear, the older you get the faster time flies. I can remember his 14th birthday!!! We are leaving Friday evening and spending the weekend in Kansas City with some awesome friends. I am so excited and looking forward to a relaxing week away from home.

We learned this stuff in our recent Church Sunday School. It was so awesome that I thought I would share it with y'all:

               Resolving Conflict ~ Taking a Risk to Bring Your Relationship Closer

The choices you make during a conflict will either drive you apart or bind you together.

Four Ways of Dealing With Conflict:

1. Fight to Win: I win you lose. I am right and this relationship takes second place.

2. Withdraw: I am uncomfortable, avoidance, I don't want to deal with this and this relationship takes second place.

3. Yield: Whatever you want, complience, be nice to keep from an arguement, relationship takes second place.

4. Loving Confrontation: Relationship comes FIRST, we need to deal with this now.

Examples from Scripture:

1. Gen. 3:8-10...Adam and Eve withdrew

2. Mark 15:9-15...Pilate yielded, no leadership...breeds resentment and bitterness

3. I Sam. 20:30-33...Saul, fought to win. The way of the agressor, brings a wedge, creats withdrawing and yielding in others and will destroy them.

Loving Confrontation:

Eph. 4:15  

1. The Content: Truth ~ get to the heart of the issue. Don't bring other things into the conversation.

2. The Method: Love ~ unconditonal, Christ-like.

3. The Motive: Growth ~ together and towards each other.

Eph. 4:29

Approach Confrontation: Very carefully-chose word to build up not tear down, work on this together.

Gal. 6:1

Check you Motivation ~ am I doing this because my right's are violated? Am I protecting myself? Or bringing-up/working on this "arguement" for our benefit as a couple?

Check your Attitude ~ am I frutrated and angry?

Check the Circumstances ~  timing, settings, maybe not right now but make it a goal, set a time..this is a priority.

Check to see if you are Willing to Accept Correction ~ this is important and shows great humility and a willingness to bring resolution instead of wanting to be right~to win.

Check with God FIRST ~  walk with the one you love into the presence of our Father...remember the three stranded cord. 

Some Practical Don'ts:

1. Don't speak Harshly

2. Don't confront in Public

3. Don't pit your children against each other

4. Don't use the words "always" and "never"

5. Don't get "historical"

6. Get rid of the "You's" ~ "You never understand" change to "I don't feel like you understand/connecting with me." "You are gone to much" to "I don't see you enough and I miss you."

7. DON'T WIN! This is not a me thing but an US

There is a point where you can Fight to Win...because it is necessary but you can come across as too truthful and in your face harsh. But there can be too much love in Loving Confrontation. Find a balance. Be loving but truthful and gentle because the whole point is to work through the conflict bringing each other closer.